Algernon: Ah, yes, I'm familiar with the subject. I have a bit of a history with it, in fact. When I took the class about 100 years ago, it was taught by a certain Bobby Joe Serensky (Mr. Serensky to us, of course). He was a generous professor, always lenient with grades and forgiving on late assignments. At the end of each class, after assigning our reading for the night, he would say, "Resist the desire to read carefully for tomorrow, students." I believe, if I'm not mistaken, that you know his great-granddaughter, Ms. Serensky. Is she of a similar disposition?
Me: She... uh... well... I guess you could say that... uh...
Algernon: "Come on, old boy, you had much better have the thing out at once" (5).
Me: She's a much more difficult teacher than her great-grandfather, to be honest.
Algernon: "I'm sorry for that, for your sake" (1).
Me: No, don't be. I actually appreciate it - Ms. Serensky's lack of generosity makes it feel as if you truly earn your grade. An A is worth something.
Algernon: That sounds dreadful. What precisely is wrong with you? You actually want to work? The mere thought makes me shudder. And what would you say was your least favorite aspect of A.P. English 11?
Me: Well, probably all of the reading required over the summer that we used for maybe a week or two. We had to read four books if I remember correctly, and it seemed sort of pointless to read so much and such specific books.
Algernon: "Oh! it is absurd to have a hard-and-fast rule about what one should read and what one shouldn't" (4).
Me: Not really. I understand that we need some sort of academic structure to our summers to prevent our brains from essentially melting into unusable piles of neurons and synapses.
Algernon: I understand completely. One must have new experiences in order to continue growing as a person. For example, "I have invented an invaluable permanent invalid called Bunbury, in order that I may be able to go down into the country whenever I choose. Bunbury is perfectly invaluable. If it wasn't for Bunbury's extraordinary bad health, for instance, I wouldn't be able to dine with you at Willis's to-night" (6).
Me: (Awkward Pause) Did you just ask me out on a date?
Algernon: No, you asked me. "You are absurdly careless about sending out invitations" (6).
Me: This is getting a bit too personal for me.
Algernon "Got nice neighbors in your part of Shropshire?" (2).
Me: How do you know where I live?!?! Stay away from my family!
Algernon: "I don't know that I am much interested in your family life" (2).
Me: You're right about that. It'll be hard to be interested in my family from prison! (After I have you arrested and imprisoned for sodomy and gross indecency under Section 11 of the Criminal Law Amendment Act of 1885, also known as the Labouchere Amendment).
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