1. "A man goes into a bar. He has a dog with him. The dog is wearing an eyepatch. The man says to the bartender, "Ask me about my dog." Unfortunately, the bartender does not hear him, because he went deaf in one ear as a child. He serves a woman at the other end of the bar. When the bartender comes back to the man with the dog, the man forgets what he was going to say about the dog. He orders an imported beer and enjoys the rest of his evening."
2. A priest, a rabbi, and a nonreligious man are all on a plane flying across the Atlantic Ocean for different reasons. The plane experiences some engine trouble, and one of the wings catches on fire. The plane starts to go down. Luckily, there are enough parachutes for everyone, and evacuation is orderly.
3. A duck walks into a pharmacy. He says to the pharmacist, "I need some soothing ointment for my beak. It is very chapped." The pharmacist replies, "We have nothing here for ducks."
4. A dog goes into a bar. He is wearing an eye patch. The dog says to the bartender, "Have you heard the one about the one-eyed dog?" The bartender, who is deaf in one ear, thinks the dog is making fun of him. He asks him to leave. The dog says, "Don't you have a sense of humor, deafie?" At the end of his shift, the bartender is tired of all the jokes. Today it's the one-eyed dog. Yesterday it was the horse with rickets. The day before: ants. He lives in a small room above the bar. He spends the night alone there, as he does every night, listening to his battery-operated radio, which picks up only a bad jazz station. He listens to bad jazz with his bad ear.
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