Some people dream of a white Christmas (or Hanukkah, Kwanza, holidays, etc.). I dream of an A.P. English Christmas. What does this entail? Well, there are some simple substitutions that will make your next winter break far superior.
In my family, holiday traditions are an important part of the season. Here are some suggestions for new traditions:
Instead of singing traditional holiday carols, substitute new A.P. English ones, like "Deck the Halls with Punctuation."
Instead of building a gingerbread house, try constructing a well-written paragraph.
Instead of baking cookies for the enjoyment of family and friends, write a book.
Instead of decorating a Christmas tree or Hanukkah menorah, decorate one of your previous essays with fun new adjectives.
Most people like to celebrate the holidays with family and friends. A true A.P. English student, however, would celebrate by just blogging about the holidays.
Instead of wearing a Christmas sweater, make a sweater with literary terms on it, like "synecdoche" or "assonance."
Weeks before the holidays begin, children begin composing their letters to Santa. As an A.P. English student, try sending him a data sheet instead. Surely Santa will appreciate your intense literary analysis and will reward you with better gifts (examples: a box of pens, a copy of The Namesake, a new A.P. English calendar, an autographed back brace from Ms. Serensky, etc.).
Oh no! You forgot to get your best friend a gift? Try giving the gift of a data sheet to complete almost entirely over winter break. Your friend won't appreciate the gift at first, but as the due date approaches, they'll start using your gift a lot more.
So with these suggestions, instead of spending your next holiday break eating cookies and giving gifts with your friends and family, you'll be spreading A.P. English cheer.
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