Amsterdam. A city of vibrant people, of unique culture, of drugs and prostitutes. Amsterdam the novel is no different. Ian McEwan's masterpiece has an elaborate plot, full of suspenseful twists and turns worthy of Inception. While this tale was no less dark and depressing than most of the other books we have read this year, McEwan presents this mood in a way that is kind of funny in a sick, British way. Take, for example, Vernon's incredibly awkward encounter with Frank Dibben in the restroom: as Vernon contemplates firing Dibben, he observes that "Dibben was in fact relieving himself quite copiously, thunderously even" (42). Firing someone is by no means funny, but one cannot help but laugh at the ridiculousness of the situation. And there is a twisted sort of humor in the fact that both men develop "a taste for revenge" and kill each other in the exact same manner (162). It is this type of subtle humor that prevents the reader from utterly despising the otherwise despicable characters. And despite the overriding humor of the novel, McEwan beautifully crafts a nightmarish plot and such petty characters that it soon becomes clear that both Vernon and Clive had "lost [their] reason and something had to be done" (161). And the novel not only generates an enormous amount of suspense, but also calls to attention several troubling moral quandaries - the question of whether or not to publish the photos of Garmony, Clive's Lakeland Rapist fiasco, assisted suicide, etc. Reading a book that dissects conventional morality in such a way and then discussing it in depth seems to finally confirm Ms. Serensky's assertion: "You are all smart" (Ms. Serensky).
Thursday, April 28, 2011
Green Light to the Red Light District
Amsterdam. A city of vibrant people, of unique culture, of drugs and prostitutes. Amsterdam the novel is no different. Ian McEwan's masterpiece has an elaborate plot, full of suspenseful twists and turns worthy of Inception. While this tale was no less dark and depressing than most of the other books we have read this year, McEwan presents this mood in a way that is kind of funny in a sick, British way. Take, for example, Vernon's incredibly awkward encounter with Frank Dibben in the restroom: as Vernon contemplates firing Dibben, he observes that "Dibben was in fact relieving himself quite copiously, thunderously even" (42). Firing someone is by no means funny, but one cannot help but laugh at the ridiculousness of the situation. And there is a twisted sort of humor in the fact that both men develop "a taste for revenge" and kill each other in the exact same manner (162). It is this type of subtle humor that prevents the reader from utterly despising the otherwise despicable characters. And despite the overriding humor of the novel, McEwan beautifully crafts a nightmarish plot and such petty characters that it soon becomes clear that both Vernon and Clive had "lost [their] reason and something had to be done" (161). And the novel not only generates an enormous amount of suspense, but also calls to attention several troubling moral quandaries - the question of whether or not to publish the photos of Garmony, Clive's Lakeland Rapist fiasco, assisted suicide, etc. Reading a book that dissects conventional morality in such a way and then discussing it in depth seems to finally confirm Ms. Serensky's assertion: "You are all smart" (Ms. Serensky).
Monday, April 25, 2011
Top 10 Most Thrilling Academic Moments of My High School Career
Just as a precursor to my list, I would like everyone to know that I am fully aware that no matter how objectively I phrase this, it will have the capacity to sound pretentious. That is merely a product of my achievements (see, I told you). So I'm just going to go for it.
10) Economics Stocks Game: I won the stock market game in Econ. last year. No one would admit it now, but that game was filled with "dedication and clarity,... like lighting a fire by rubbing two sticks" (McEwan 109). To be entirely honest, I only won because one of my stocks, initially valued at about $20 per share, had its company bought out by an enormous corporation. So for a short while the stock jumped from the original $20 to around $1000 per share (the price of the larger corporation) due to computer error. Naturally, I sold my hundreds of shares quickly.
9) Becoming best friends with Mr. Maas: Don't listen to what anyone else says - I am Mr. Maas's best friend that is a student. Just the other day, as we did integrals together, he asked to borrow my pencil, and the "nature of the request, its intimacy and self-conscious reflection on [our] friendship... created... an uncomfortable emotional proximity" (McEwan 54).
8) Spanish Four Video Projects: If you were to ask any of our school's Spanish teachers about either the movie Zapatalones III (ZIII) or Obi Wan Quijote, the teacher would inevitably know of our legendary movies. Whereas other groups used the limitations of the project (it had to be in Spanish after all) as "a mask for mediocrity" (McEwan 66), my group (Chris Lange, Brian Binder, Austin Sauey, and myself) crafted epic 25-minute films.
7) Winning the Springfest Dodgeball Tournament last year as a member of East Washington Mafia: Although this moment is not technically academic in nature, it occurred during a school day. We staunchly refused "to be a martyr to them" (Kesey 157).
6) 199/200. On the Amsterdam Essay. An 8+/9- speaks for itself. However, I'm legally obligated to include a quote, so I'll continue - my classmates clearly wondered "how it was possible that anyone could manage such an enormous thing [I] was" (Kesey 161).
5) National Merit Finalist: It was truly an honor to be selected as a National Merit Finalist. It allowed me to represent our school on a national level, and it's an opportunity that a very select few received in our school. It was then that I realized that "everything [I've] done was with reason" (Kesey 266).
4) Voted most intelligent (and funniest) by the senior class: Yes, it's true. Essentially, I now have an established comeback for anything Donley says. He knows that "there are principles at stake that one cannot surrender," so he is forced to answer to me (Wilde 44).
3) The formation of the Dream Team and our two victories: Perhaps the four most decorated males at our school joined forces one day to form what is clearly the most vaunted team in A.P. English. Our opponents, of course, wish that we were not so intelligent and "not quite so very alluring in appearances," but such is the burden of success (Wilde 35).
2) Taking the SAT at 23:80 (military time, with a few extra minutes) at 2380 Enlightenment Boulevard, in room 2380 as the 2nd of 3 boys in my family (and 8th of my extended family, 0 of whom are girls) to take test. I am now quite relieved to be done, as "even these metallic problems have their melodramatic side" (Wilde 23.80)
1) My acceptance letter from Duke: This day validated all the others in my academic career. Please don't speak badly of Duke - "only people who can't get into it do that" (Wilde 47). With the additions of the esteemed John Shoemaker and Thomas Donley to our freshman class at Duke, the future seems bright.
10) Economics Stocks Game: I won the stock market game in Econ. last year. No one would admit it now, but that game was filled with "dedication and clarity,... like lighting a fire by rubbing two sticks" (McEwan 109). To be entirely honest, I only won because one of my stocks, initially valued at about $20 per share, had its company bought out by an enormous corporation. So for a short while the stock jumped from the original $20 to around $1000 per share (the price of the larger corporation) due to computer error. Naturally, I sold my hundreds of shares quickly.
9) Becoming best friends with Mr. Maas: Don't listen to what anyone else says - I am Mr. Maas's best friend that is a student. Just the other day, as we did integrals together, he asked to borrow my pencil, and the "nature of the request, its intimacy and self-conscious reflection on [our] friendship... created... an uncomfortable emotional proximity" (McEwan 54).
8) Spanish Four Video Projects: If you were to ask any of our school's Spanish teachers about either the movie Zapatalones III (ZIII) or Obi Wan Quijote, the teacher would inevitably know of our legendary movies. Whereas other groups used the limitations of the project (it had to be in Spanish after all) as "a mask for mediocrity" (McEwan 66), my group (Chris Lange, Brian Binder, Austin Sauey, and myself) crafted epic 25-minute films.
7) Winning the Springfest Dodgeball Tournament last year as a member of East Washington Mafia: Although this moment is not technically academic in nature, it occurred during a school day. We staunchly refused "to be a martyr to them" (Kesey 157).
6) 199/200. On the Amsterdam Essay. An 8+/9- speaks for itself. However, I'm legally obligated to include a quote, so I'll continue - my classmates clearly wondered "how it was possible that anyone could manage such an enormous thing [I] was" (Kesey 161).
5) National Merit Finalist: It was truly an honor to be selected as a National Merit Finalist. It allowed me to represent our school on a national level, and it's an opportunity that a very select few received in our school. It was then that I realized that "everything [I've] done was with reason" (Kesey 266).
4) Voted most intelligent (and funniest) by the senior class: Yes, it's true. Essentially, I now have an established comeback for anything Donley says. He knows that "there are principles at stake that one cannot surrender," so he is forced to answer to me (Wilde 44).
3) The formation of the Dream Team and our two victories: Perhaps the four most decorated males at our school joined forces one day to form what is clearly the most vaunted team in A.P. English. Our opponents, of course, wish that we were not so intelligent and "not quite so very alluring in appearances," but such is the burden of success (Wilde 35).
2) Taking the SAT at 23:80 (military time, with a few extra minutes) at 2380 Enlightenment Boulevard, in room 2380 as the 2nd of 3 boys in my family (and 8th of my extended family, 0 of whom are girls) to take test. I am now quite relieved to be done, as "even these metallic problems have their melodramatic side" (Wilde 23.80)
1) My acceptance letter from Duke: This day validated all the others in my academic career. Please don't speak badly of Duke - "only people who can't get into it do that" (Wilde 47). With the additions of the esteemed John Shoemaker and Thomas Donley to our freshman class at Duke, the future seems bright.
Thursday, April 21, 2011
Plum Into Poetry
"Plums. We're reading a poem about plums. How riveting." These, of course, were my initial thoughts as we began our unit on poetry in A.P. English by reading William Carlos Williams' "This Is Just To Say." I found it inane and trivial, to say the least - it "bore the exculpatory ticket of high intent" (McEwan 66). I could probably write a comparable poem right now:
This Is Just To Say
I have used
the toilet paper
that was in
the bathroom
and which
you were
going to use
after a large meal
Forgive me
it was four ply
double quilted
so soft
These, though, were just my first thoughts - I soon saw a new side of this small, simple poem. It transformed in front of my eyes from a bland string of words to a painting of "enticing sweetness and melancholy" (82). The depth of our analysis impressed me. We had uncovered in a shallow-seeming poem "rich orchestral textures of sinuous harmony" (145). Perhaps there was something to these poems. "This Is Just To Say" helped me realize that poems can require a great deal of thought and insight to fully understand. Then again, it doesn't rhyme, so there was clearly room for improvement.
This Is Just To Say
I have used
the toilet paper
that was in
the bathroom
and which
you were
going to use
after a large meal
Forgive me
it was four ply
double quilted
so soft
These, though, were just my first thoughts - I soon saw a new side of this small, simple poem. It transformed in front of my eyes from a bland string of words to a painting of "enticing sweetness and melancholy" (82). The depth of our analysis impressed me. We had uncovered in a shallow-seeming poem "rich orchestral textures of sinuous harmony" (145). Perhaps there was something to these poems. "This Is Just To Say" helped me realize that poems can require a great deal of thought and insight to fully understand. Then again, it doesn't rhyme, so there was clearly room for improvement.
Tuesday, April 19, 2011
The Rise and Fall of a Dynasty
On the day of our first multiple choice game this year, everyone quickly found their teams, scheming to assemble a squad replete with some of the titans of A.P. English. I myself joined what would later be known as the Dream Team, the much-maligned group of Thomas Donley, Sam Schiferl, John Shoemaker, and myself. Of course, we were merely an assemblage of driven, motivated students looking to do our best on the multiple choice test, preparing for the later A.P. test and doing our teacher proud. As most English students know, though, the Dream Team was lambasted from the very beginning. Unequivocally, mercilessly we were torn at by our opposition and neutral third parties. We may have talked ourselves up a bit, merely for the purpose of building our self-confidence of course, but we could feel the class's undeserved hatred for us "rearing up, higher... beyond human capability" (McEwan 146). By assembling a strong team and employing some competitive banter, the Dream Team had hoped to push our class to its intellectual limits and, in turn, help everyone become a more confident student. Yet "we live, I regret to say, in an age of surfaces" (Wilde 47). The other students seemed incapable of grasping our underlying intentions, so in return for our subtle benevolence we received only enmity. Though deeply saddened, we still competed that day, doing our best to maintain a competitive yet controlled environment. The game was played, and we lost. I will not lie, even this loss felt like someone had "touched on each side of [my] head with wires" (Kesey 69). Yet the real tragedy that day was not our loss, but rather the inability of our peers to realize that we only meant to enhance their academic experience through our style of play. Why, then, was this my favorite day of A.P. English? Well, our peers thought that they had defeated the Dream Team once and for all. But out of the ashes of the fallen Dream Team awoke an entirely new beast, a phoenix rising intent on revenge for the abuse that it had endured. The Dream Team crumbled. From its foundations rose the Redeem Team.
Thursday, April 14, 2011
Lanark Gives Lane an Intervention
[Location: England. Time: Friday afternoon. The Situation: Lane (The Importance of Being Earnest) and Paul Lanark (Amsterdam) are both shopping at their local Costco when they accidentally collide and are forced to begin a conversation:
Lane: My apologies, good sir. I didn't see you rounding that corner.
Lanark: No problem at all, chap.
Lane: Say, you haven't seen any cucumbers in this place, have you? You see, "there were no cucumbers in the market this morning" (8).
Lanark: No, I'm afraid I haven't, and I've purchased items from all throughout the store. "I suppose you'd call it sampling" (178).
Lane: Oh well, thank you for your help. OH MY, WHAT IS THAT DREADFUL BEAST THAT RESTS UPON YOUR SHOULDER?!?
Lanark: That is "the Flea itself"!!! (178). Quickly! Swat it away!
Lane: No.
Lanark: Why not?
Lane: I don't want to.
Lanark: Why?
Lane: "I didn't think it polite" (1).
Lanark: But that is a flea, which would of course care little for the manners of men.
Lane: I never think it a good idea to swat fleas, sir. One day, they may swat back.
Lanark: Are you attempting to befriend that flea?
Lane: Well, yes, I suppose. "I don't know how many years on this Earth I got left. I'm gonna get real weird with it." (It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia).
Lanark: What? In Costco? I absolutely refuse to listen to such dreadful talk. Good day.
Lane: Good morrow, sir.
Lane: My apologies, good sir. I didn't see you rounding that corner.
Lanark: No problem at all, chap.
Lane: Say, you haven't seen any cucumbers in this place, have you? You see, "there were no cucumbers in the market this morning" (8).
Lanark: No, I'm afraid I haven't, and I've purchased items from all throughout the store. "I suppose you'd call it sampling" (178).
Lane: Oh well, thank you for your help. OH MY, WHAT IS THAT DREADFUL BEAST THAT RESTS UPON YOUR SHOULDER?!?
Lanark: That is "the Flea itself"!!! (178). Quickly! Swat it away!
Lane: No.
Lanark: Why not?
Lane: I don't want to.
Lanark: Why?
Lane: "I didn't think it polite" (1).
Lanark: But that is a flea, which would of course care little for the manners of men.
Lane: I never think it a good idea to swat fleas, sir. One day, they may swat back.
Lanark: Are you attempting to befriend that flea?
Lane: Well, yes, I suppose. "I don't know how many years on this Earth I got left. I'm gonna get real weird with it." (It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia).
Lanark: What? In Costco? I absolutely refuse to listen to such dreadful talk. Good day.
Lane: Good morrow, sir.
Monday, April 11, 2011
A Walk in the Park
From the diary of Clive Linley:
Today, the students of Ms. Serensky's A.P. English class absolutely tore me to part for failing to do anything when I witnessed an altercation between a man and a woman. One student, Carolyn Weaver, went so far as to say that I must "take some of the blame for the rape and murder of the girl," and many other students echoed this sentiment. Of course, I must wholeheartedly disagree with these ludicrous accusations. I was, after all, merely taking a relaxing walk through the countryside when I heard a man and a woman "arguing - a marital row, most likely" (92-93). And by all appearances, that's precisely what it was. Although at one point "the man took a step toward her and seized her by the elbow," I thought little of it - from what I had seen, this was a simple domestic dispute (93). I had absolutely no business getting involved in this altercation, as I knew neither the parties involved nor the background surrounding their fight. If I had attempted to step in, "they might both turn on [me] for presuming to interfere" (94). Unfortunately, I had seen nothing that suggested the gravity of the outcome of this dispute. How was I to know that this man was a rapist and murderer? Should I have thrust myself into an apparent marital dispute and asked if the man was planning to rape and subsequently murder this innocent woman? Apparently, I should assume that every man that yells at a woman is a murderer. The cruel, heartless students seemed to be suggesting this. I will cry myself to sleep tonight.
Sincerely,
Clive
Today, the students of Ms. Serensky's A.P. English class absolutely tore me to part for failing to do anything when I witnessed an altercation between a man and a woman. One student, Carolyn Weaver, went so far as to say that I must "take some of the blame for the rape and murder of the girl," and many other students echoed this sentiment. Of course, I must wholeheartedly disagree with these ludicrous accusations. I was, after all, merely taking a relaxing walk through the countryside when I heard a man and a woman "arguing - a marital row, most likely" (92-93). And by all appearances, that's precisely what it was. Although at one point "the man took a step toward her and seized her by the elbow," I thought little of it - from what I had seen, this was a simple domestic dispute (93). I had absolutely no business getting involved in this altercation, as I knew neither the parties involved nor the background surrounding their fight. If I had attempted to step in, "they might both turn on [me] for presuming to interfere" (94). Unfortunately, I had seen nothing that suggested the gravity of the outcome of this dispute. How was I to know that this man was a rapist and murderer? Should I have thrust myself into an apparent marital dispute and asked if the man was planning to rape and subsequently murder this innocent woman? Apparently, I should assume that every man that yells at a woman is a murderer. The cruel, heartless students seemed to be suggesting this. I will cry myself to sleep tonight.
Sincerely,
Clive
Thursday, April 7, 2011
Afternoon With Algernon
Me: Good day, Algernon. Nice to see you on this fine morning. I'm here to talk to you about A.P. English 11.
Algernon: Ah, yes, I'm familiar with the subject. I have a bit of a history with it, in fact. When I took the class about 100 years ago, it was taught by a certain Bobby Joe Serensky (Mr. Serensky to us, of course). He was a generous professor, always lenient with grades and forgiving on late assignments. At the end of each class, after assigning our reading for the night, he would say, "Resist the desire to read carefully for tomorrow, students." I believe, if I'm not mistaken, that you know his great-granddaughter, Ms. Serensky. Is she of a similar disposition?
Me: She... uh... well... I guess you could say that... uh...
Algernon: "Come on, old boy, you had much better have the thing out at once" (5).
Me: She's a much more difficult teacher than her great-grandfather, to be honest.
Algernon: "I'm sorry for that, for your sake" (1).
Me: No, don't be. I actually appreciate it - Ms. Serensky's lack of generosity makes it feel as if you truly earn your grade. An A is worth something.
Algernon: That sounds dreadful. What precisely is wrong with you? You actually want to work? The mere thought makes me shudder. And what would you say was your least favorite aspect of A.P. English 11?
Me: Well, probably all of the reading required over the summer that we used for maybe a week or two. We had to read four books if I remember correctly, and it seemed sort of pointless to read so much and such specific books.
Algernon: "Oh! it is absurd to have a hard-and-fast rule about what one should read and what one shouldn't" (4).
Me: Not really. I understand that we need some sort of academic structure to our summers to prevent our brains from essentially melting into unusable piles of neurons and synapses.
Algernon: I understand completely. One must have new experiences in order to continue growing as a person. For example, "I have invented an invaluable permanent invalid called Bunbury, in order that I may be able to go down into the country whenever I choose. Bunbury is perfectly invaluable. If it wasn't for Bunbury's extraordinary bad health, for instance, I wouldn't be able to dine with you at Willis's to-night" (6).
Me: (Awkward Pause) Did you just ask me out on a date?
Algernon: No, you asked me. "You are absurdly careless about sending out invitations" (6).
Me: This is getting a bit too personal for me.
Algernon "Got nice neighbors in your part of Shropshire?" (2).
Me: How do you know where I live?!?! Stay away from my family!
Algernon: "I don't know that I am much interested in your family life" (2).
Me: You're right about that. It'll be hard to be interested in my family from prison! (After I have you arrested and imprisoned for sodomy and gross indecency under Section 11 of the Criminal Law Amendment Act of 1885, also known as the Labouchere Amendment).
Algernon: Ah, yes, I'm familiar with the subject. I have a bit of a history with it, in fact. When I took the class about 100 years ago, it was taught by a certain Bobby Joe Serensky (Mr. Serensky to us, of course). He was a generous professor, always lenient with grades and forgiving on late assignments. At the end of each class, after assigning our reading for the night, he would say, "Resist the desire to read carefully for tomorrow, students." I believe, if I'm not mistaken, that you know his great-granddaughter, Ms. Serensky. Is she of a similar disposition?
Me: She... uh... well... I guess you could say that... uh...
Algernon: "Come on, old boy, you had much better have the thing out at once" (5).
Me: She's a much more difficult teacher than her great-grandfather, to be honest.
Algernon: "I'm sorry for that, for your sake" (1).
Me: No, don't be. I actually appreciate it - Ms. Serensky's lack of generosity makes it feel as if you truly earn your grade. An A is worth something.
Algernon: That sounds dreadful. What precisely is wrong with you? You actually want to work? The mere thought makes me shudder. And what would you say was your least favorite aspect of A.P. English 11?
Me: Well, probably all of the reading required over the summer that we used for maybe a week or two. We had to read four books if I remember correctly, and it seemed sort of pointless to read so much and such specific books.
Algernon: "Oh! it is absurd to have a hard-and-fast rule about what one should read and what one shouldn't" (4).
Me: Not really. I understand that we need some sort of academic structure to our summers to prevent our brains from essentially melting into unusable piles of neurons and synapses.
Algernon: I understand completely. One must have new experiences in order to continue growing as a person. For example, "I have invented an invaluable permanent invalid called Bunbury, in order that I may be able to go down into the country whenever I choose. Bunbury is perfectly invaluable. If it wasn't for Bunbury's extraordinary bad health, for instance, I wouldn't be able to dine with you at Willis's to-night" (6).
Me: (Awkward Pause) Did you just ask me out on a date?
Algernon: No, you asked me. "You are absurdly careless about sending out invitations" (6).
Me: This is getting a bit too personal for me.
Algernon "Got nice neighbors in your part of Shropshire?" (2).
Me: How do you know where I live?!?! Stay away from my family!
Algernon: "I don't know that I am much interested in your family life" (2).
Me: You're right about that. It'll be hard to be interested in my family from prison! (After I have you arrested and imprisoned for sodomy and gross indecency under Section 11 of the Criminal Law Amendment Act of 1885, also known as the Labouchere Amendment).
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